WHAT CAN, OR SHOULD WE, TOLERATE? PART II

Four years ago I wrote a blog post after the 2016 election. I was disturbed with the result and what it meant. It is sad how little has changed and how apropos much of that post is to the current situation. It seems that the lessons learned from the last campaign only made this one more ugly, not less. And the discourse between people on either side has become more hateful and vitriolic, not less.

In that post, I expressed concern about the racism, sexism, anti-Semitism, homophobia and other forms of bigotry that had been expressed during the campaign. Unfortunately, I was right to be concerned and some of my worst fears have been realized. My hope was that despite our differences we would "not sit idly by under the rubric of tolerance and let our country be warped by those who espouse these ideas." That hope was not realized. As time passed I came to the sad realization that many people had not voted for Donald Trump despite his less desireable qualities and opinions, but because of them. Let me emphasize right here than I am not generalizing. There is no such thing as all Republicans or all Democrats believing anything. I hate it when I see FB posts that condemn half the population with a particular set of beliefs. We are all individuals and our beliefs are just as individual. But it is nonetheless true that a significant number of Trump voters shared these (to me) objectionable opinions and still do.

After the election I saw many messages reminding us that our friends and neighbors were still our friends and neighbors even if we voted differently. I agreed with that message. I have many friends and family members with whom I have political disagreements. We have usually been able to discuss them civilly even though we rarely changed each other's mind. I was OK with that. I myself had differences of opinion with both of the presidential candidates and knew that whichever was elected, they would do things that I wouldn't like. So I took a "wait and see" attitude and hoped for the best. That hope was in vain.

Although I expected to dislike some of the things that would take place and the decisions that would be made, I was not prepared for what happened. Within one week of inauguration the President issued an executive order banning immigrants from seven predominantly Muslim countries. As a member of a minority religion, this struck a nerve. People said to me, "Oh, you know that would never happen to Jews in America." Do I? I was not so sure after what happened in Charlottesville and the president's comment that "there were very fine people on both sides." As time went on and more of these types of things happened, I waited for elected officials and my friends on the right to step up and condemn these actions. By and large that did not happen. Some remained silent, but some actually endorsed the comments and added thoughts of their own supporting them. It was sad, but telling, that I had friends (of all political stripes) contact me and tell me that if "things went bad" I could come to them and they would hide and protect me. The fact that such an offer was even considered a possibilty is quite daunting.

I am not going to go through a laundry list of what has disturbed me during the last four years. My point is that although I liked some of the policies of this administration, the tenor of the statements and actions in the wider context disturbed me greatly. I might have been able to overlook some of these things to get other things I liked, but the events of 2020 ended that. There are many things I will tolerate, but lying, willful ignorance and the ignoring and condemning of science while millions of Americans get sick and hundreds of thousands die is not one of them. Any moral right this administration had to remain in office died with those victims. 

Now I know there are those who will say that I have been sucked in by fake news, that I am living in fear and even if all of it is true, there are more important things to consider. I cannot agree. I do not expect any president to be an expert on everything. But I do expect them to find the relevant experts and listen to them. I do not expect followers of the president to threaten one of the country's leading experts on infectious diseases to the point where he and his family needed protection because he had the chutzpah to contradict the president. I do not expect political pressure to be put on respected agencies like the CDC to loosen it's medically sound guidelines on how to reduce the spread of the virus to suit the president's desire to reopen the economy and improve his chances for reelection.

Finally, for me, this all comes down to one thing - character. Character defines who we are and the way we behave. The qualities I believe make up good character include integrity, honesty, courage, fairness, and dedication among others. The Yiddish word mensch describes a person of integrity and honor. I want a mensch in the White House. 

I began my post four years ago objecting to this message that I had seen on a church marquee many years ago,"Broad-minded tolerance is peaceful co-existence with evil." I ended my post four years ago with this modification, "Unlimited, unconditional tolerance is peaceful co-existence with evil." I am saddened that I have discovered more limits to my tolerance, but proud that I am willing to stand up for what I believe in and stand against what I cannot accept.

THE TRUE MEANING OF THANKSGIVING

Here it is, the day where we gather with those nearest and dearest to us to celebrate an American holiday commemorating an event we're not sure ever took place. Now don't get me wrong. I love Thanksgiving. I love preparing the food, eating the food and for the fifth year having everyone in our home. Thanksgiving evokes some wonderful memories for me especially the many years spent at my Auntie Sylvia's house with our family. She was the cook I always aspired to be. Whatever cooking talent I inherited came from her. (Sorry, Mom.) But there is more to this holiday than food and family - oh and let's not forget football.




The history is problematic. For one thing, we use this holiday to memorialize the Pilgrims. We recognize them for their courage to cross the mighty Atlantic Ocean and start anew in a wild country far from home for a chance to practice religious freedom. It's not that simple. For one thing, although we refer to them as the Pilgrims, evoking their quest for a better life, they were actually referred to as the Puritans. The reason they had originally left England and the reason for that name was because they objected to the "Catholic"practices of the Protestant Church of England and their goal of was to "purify" the church of these practices. But that didn't mean they believed in religious freedom. Theirs was a rigid set of beliefs and there was no tolerance for any of the group who didn't toe the line. William Bradford, the leader of the Puritans, had observed in Holland that some of the members of his group in his words wanted to “use their owne libertie.” In other words, they wanted to be free to make their own choices. This was not acceptable. So he drew up the Mayflower Compact. Rather than being the early example of democracy that we were taught about in elementary school, it was actually used to bind those on the Mayflower to follow the dictates of the leader or not even be allowed to go on shore when the ship landed. And why leave Holland? It was not because the Dutch refused to let them practice their religion. It was because Holland was considered too open-minded and the Puritan leaders were afraid that members of their flock would be lead astray.



The story of the first Thanksgiving is equally complicated. The "first Thanksgiving" was a feast to celebrate a successful Fall harvest as had been the tradition in England. Only 53 of the original 102 colonists had survived that first winter so they had reason to celebrate. There are only two contemporary accounts of the event. They both mention that 90 members of the Wampanoag tribe were present, including their chief Massasoit and a young man named Squanto who served as a translator. How did he know English? Because he had been captured by members of and earlier expedition and held as a slave in Europe for many years. We don't even know if they were invited guests. The settlers spent some time before the feast hunting for game. There is some speculation that the natives were concerned about this activity and came to investigate. Just like some of us welcome people into our home on Thanksgiving because we feel we have to, the 53 settlers may have looked at the 90 Wampanoag warriors and decided the better part of valor was to share their feast.



And did that feast include such "traditional" foods as turkey, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie? Probably not. The colonists didn’t have potatoes, nor did they have butter or flour necessary for making pies. The pilgrims hadn’t even built their first oven by the time of the first Thanksgiving. The accounts we have only mention fowl and deer, but guesses can be made based on the types of food they often wrote about such as mussels, lobsters, grapes, plums, corn and herbs. There is no actual proof that the colonists ate turkey at the feast either. Turkey wasn’t even associated with the Thanksgiving holiday until an editor of a magazine called Godey’s Lady’s Book came across Edward Winslow’s writings about the feast in the 1840s and focused her attention on the brief sentence about the colonist’s hunt for wild turkeys that fall: “And besides waterfowl there was great store of wild turkeys, of which they took many, besides venison, etc."



Also, we always talk about the "first Thanksgiving." Was there a "second Thanksgiving?" Not as such. There is no contemporary record of the pilgrims holding any more harvest celebrations after 1621. In July of 1623, the pilgrims did hold what they called a "Thanksgiving.” This was simply a religious day of prayer and fasting that had nothing to do with the fall harvest. As time passed these two events became connected and by the late 1600s many individual colonies and settlements, began holding “Thanksgiving feasts” during the autumn months. For many years the Thanksgiving holiday was only observed in New England. It wasn't until 1863 that Abraham Lincoln made it a national holiday. This was during they Civil War and Lincoln hoped the new holiday would unify the bitterly divided country. I'm not sure it had the desired effect, but the  Thanksgiving holiday has continued ever since.



What are we left with? No celebration of the quest for religious freedom? No example of peaceful co
oexistence and assistance between the native population and the immigrants? No image of these two groups gathered around a dinner table laden with turkey and all the fixings? No beginning of a time-honored tradition? Unfortunately not. We must remove the rose-colored glasses of childhood and recognize that history is much messier than we would like to believe and the lessons are not that simple and straightforward.

So, what is the true meaning of Thanksgiving? This may sound redundant, but it is to give thanks. That first feast was a celebration of survival, of a bountiful harvest and hope for the future. These are things we can relate to. At our Thanksgiving table we recite the Hebrew prayer called the Shecheyanu which says, "Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of all, who has kept us alive, sustained us, and brought us to this season." In other words, thank you for allowing us to survive another year so we can all be here to share this celebration. We then say the Motzi, our equivalent of saying Grace, thanking God for the food we are about to eat. And lastly before we eat we go around the table and each person says what they are thankful for this year. Then we dig in.

My message on this third Thursday of November is simple. Wherever you are, whomever you are with, whatever you are doing today; take a moment to be grateful. To appreciate what you have. To realize the blessings bestowed on us every day and to not take them for granted. We have survived another orbit around the sun, we have enough food to sustain our bodies and there is always hope for the future. Happy Thanksgiving.

What Now?

I know I'm probably going to offend a lot of people with this. My only comforts are that I will probably offend equal numbers of people at each end of the political spectrum and that my true friends will take this is the spirit it is meant. That being said, here goes.





What we have right now vis a vis the immigration problem in the United States is a cluster f**k. There is no other way to describe it. They say that a person with an addiction problem doesn't usually decide to get help until they have reached rock bottom. I am hoping that this is rock bottom for the way our nation in dealing with immigration and now there will be motivation to get into recovery.
Before I go any further, let me be very clear about one thing. What is being done to these children being brought across the border is unconscionable, unconstitutional and un-American. I was going to say that it is wrong to put children in any kind of detention for any reason, but having served on a grand jury and seen the kind of crimes committed by some juveniles, I cannot make that blanket a statement. However, even those relatively rare cases are only done after a judicial process. My FB feed has been inundated with comparisons to Nazi Germany.  I was also struck by a post from George Takei in which he commented that when he was sent to an internment camp during World War II at least he was with his parents. These historical precedents are troubling, but essentially irrelevant. Even if such a thing had never happened before, we should still know that it is wrong. Quick measures need to be taken to rectify the great wrong done to the children separated from their parents recently, but that does not answer the long term problem nor should it be an excuse to ignore the real problems involved in illegal immigration.




That being said, nothing else is black and white.  We cannot and should not stop immigration. As has been said so many times that is is becoming a little trite, we are a nation of immigrants. I myself am a second generation American. My grandparents left Eastern Europe to escape pogroms at the turn of the 20th Century. Yes, they came legally. However others were not so lucky. In 1939, shortly after the war began, a German ocean liner called the  St. Louis that was full of Jewish refugees seeking asylum was turned away from the port of Miami. Many of those aboard died in German concentration camps upon their return. In 1942, a ship called the SS Drottingholm was bringing Jewish refugees from Nazi Germany to New York seeking asylum. One passenger (ONE!!!) turned out to be a German spy. This became the excuse to refuse thousands of visas to Jews trying legally to come here. With hindsight, we look back in horror at what was done in our name and how many people lost their lives because of it.




https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/us-government-turned-away-thousands-jewish-refugees-fearing-they-were-nazi-spies-180957324/

This is not a rationale for just opening the borders and letting anyone who wants to walk in. Are there people trying to enter the U.S. who have or will commit crimes?  Yes. Are there terrorists, drug dealers, gang members and so on hidden among the refugees? Of course. Just as I'm sure there was more than one German spy trying to sneak in as a refugee and that there were a few Japanese-Americans who were trying to help the enemy. But again, using another trite truism, exceptions do not make the rule. Isn't also true that many of those coming across are not refugees at all but "just" wanting to come to the States for economic reasons. Yes, and what's wrong with that? America is the Land of Opportunity. We should be proud that people want to be a part of it. There is a reason why the Statue of Liberty is one of our most beloved symbols.




But wait, does that mean that everyone who wants to gets a free pass into the United States? Of course not. We are a nation of laws. For our society to function, those laws need to be respected. There are legal ways to enter this country. That system is broken and needs to be fixed. We also have a system (imperfect, I know) to deal with those who break the law. This is where we come back to the cluster f**k. We don't have a coherent immigration policy. What we have is a bunch of people screaming half-truths at each other and hiding being canards and false facts. There is a nugget of truth in the claims made by both (many) sides in this debate. But there is also a lot of fear, hatred and ignorance fueling irrational statements and actions. And our representatives are either too afraid of the consequences of taking anything but an absolutist stance for fear of losing support from their base or so confused by the conflicting feedback they are getting from their constituents to take any useful action.


In the short term, this disaster created by the Trump Administration's ill thought out and badly implemented Zero Tolerance policy must be fixed. I think Texas Senator Ted Cruz's Protect Kids and Parents Act would be a good start. Essentially it would double the number of immigration judges, provide funding for more shelters that would keep families together and provide for an expedited process of 14 days for the review of asylum requests. This is not an immigration policy. It is and emergency treatment for an acute symptom, not a cure for the disease.I do not have a cure for the disease. I have some ideas, just like the rest of you. We wouldn't all agree with each others ideas. But until we have a reasoned, rational conversation nothing will improve. I suspect nothing much can be expected from our elected representatives until after the mid-term elections. Recent events have turned up the heat. Each party will be throwing red meat to it's base to motivate people to go to the polls. For the near future, scoring points will be more important than finding solutions. It will not be pretty.





We have been struggling with this for a long time. And mostly failing.  Legal or illegal, immigration has been both a strength and a curse. Practically every group that has made it to this country and had some success has wanted to close the door behind them. We are a nation built on an idea, not a race, religion, or ethnicity. America is not white, black, brown; European, Asian, African or South American. It does not just belong to one group of people. Despite this, there has always been a fear of the other. Groups of people who are now solidly considered "one of us" like the Irish were once routinely rejected. Asian Americans today are facing a problem experienced last century by the Jews - they are too successful. Universities are again establishing a ceiling on the number of admissions of these high achievers because it would create and "imbalance." Hispanics and Muslims are just the latest groups to be caught in this quagmire.




Maybe I am naive, but I still hold out hope that reasonable people can have reasonable conversations and come up with reasonable solutions. Compromise and bipartisanship are now considered dirty words, but there is no other way forward. There is no simple answer. Unilateral, rigid and ideologically pure proposals will not suffice. It is time for the hard work to be done.

The Holiday Miracle

It's that time of year again, the Holiday Season. For me,  it begins at Thanksgiving and ends on New Year's Day. In between, my main holiday is Chanukah, but I also participate in a variety of other holiday celebrations. Four years ago, I titled my blog entry about this time of year "An Outsider Looking In." I'm glad to say that my feelings have changed. The question is why.

Very little has changed on the outside. Stores, restauraunts, houses, cars, cats and dogs are all still covered in Christmas decorations. Christmas Muzak still forms the soundtrack wherever I go. The malls are a combat zone. It is difficult to find entertainment options outside of the movie theater that do not involve Santa, reindeer or nutcrackers. Finding Chanukah merchandise in the stores is still more the nature of a scavenger hunt than a shopping excursion. And if I am asked one more time why I don't have a tree at home...well let's just say that I would be on the Naughty List. However, I have come to realize that much of what has annoyed me in the past about this season is really superficial.

Last year, I posted on Facebook complaining that some houses in my neighborhood had put their lights up before Thanksgiving. (I know, the horror!) It was hard enough seeing Christmas stuff in the stores immediately after Labor Day, but this was just too much. Why did I feel this way? For me, it was having to face this difficult time of year even earlier than I thought necessary. Why difficult? Because it emphasized to me that I am an outsider in this culture. Or at least that's how I have felt in the past.

Much of my attitude change regarding this season can be attribted to the influence of my friends. They have helped me see things in a different light (literally in some cases) and have helped me feel both less excluded and more included. Most of this has happened in the last year or two. You might ask what has changed in this period. I think there are two factors. My circle of friends both in personal relationships and through social media has expanded and I have been more open about my feelings and let people know when I was feeling uncomfortable. This wider circle of friends has added new perspectives and being more open about what bothered me about this time of year has resulted in others making an effort to make me feel more comfortable.

The situation with the lights is a good example. In response to my post, a Dear Friend said something that made me look at the decorations in an entirely different way. Most cultures have a proverb that talks about the role of light in dispelling darkness. My friend explained to me that that was how she viewed Christmas lights. At a time of year when the days are shorter, darker and colder, these decorations help to brighten the world around us. That totally changed my perspective. Now as I drive down the street, rather than being annoyed by the display of symbols for a holiday not my own, I just enjoy the light. I can enjoy the display as a thing of beauty without worrying about the content or purpose. It's just pretty.

I have never been shy about my Judaism. Unlike some others I have met, I have never felt the need to hide it. Growing up in the Boston area, I was exposed to my friends' traditions and them to mine. I helped decorate many a Christmas tree and they learned to play dreidel and eat latkes. We attended each others houses of worship and mostly learned to understand and tolerate each others beliefs. Texas is (or was) different. Before my Texan friends get mad at me, let me explain. If you didn't grow up in one of the urban areas of Texas, the odds were that you may not have had any experience with Jews. This creates a gap of knowledge and understanding. Even now, when someone finds out that I am Jewish, there can be a bit of awkwardness. Not any hostility, just not knowing exactly what that means and feeling uncomfortable asking. That has begun to change and it is another reason that I have become more comfortable with the Holiday Season.

Perhaps because of my being "out there" about my Judaism, or the fact that there is actually Chanukah merchandise in the stores and Chanukah themes included in advertising, or just a sincere effort to learn; I find that people are much more willing to ask me about my traditions. I consider this a privilege. I am quick to explain that there is no single, "official," answer to most questions in Judaism, but I am happy to explain what I believe. This has resulted in greater awareness and understanding. An elected representative recently told me that he appreciated something that my husband had explained to him. He admitted that he had never even thought about it and learning how his behavior was perceived had opened his eyes and caused him to make a change. Another elected official now includes Chanukah decorations with the Christmas tree in his public offices. That's what I call progress.

This evening I will be attending a Christmas party for an organization that I belong to. Last year this event occurred during Chanukah. The president of the club asked me to bring my menorah, to light the candles and say the blessings and explain a little about the holiday. I did so and I was warmed by how many people that evening and afterwards came and told me how much they enjoyed the experience and learning about our holiday. Although Chanukah does not begin until Christmas Eve this year, I have again been asked to bring the menorah and tell the story. (I won't actually light the candles or say the blessings.) I am flattered and encouraged by this. It is both a sign of interest in traditions outside your own and a sign of acceptance.
So, I am more in sync with the Holiday Season this year. I am enjoying the decorations, the parties and the general good cheer. I still get tired of the music, but you can't have everything. Whatever you celebrate, however you celebrate, I hope this season brings you joy and peace. Chag Sameach.

WHAT CAN, OR SHOULD, WE TOLERATE?

Over thirty years ago, I saw a message on the outdoor sign of a local church stating "Broad-minded tolerance is peaceful co-existence with evil." It has stayed with me all these years. I have always viewed this as an incredibly intolerant statement and have quoted it as evidence of the dogmatic and narrow view some people have about ideas that are different from their own. But recent events have caused me to re-evaluate my position.

We have just finished a particularly brutal and unpleasant political campaign season. The candidates and their surrogates have lowered themselves to some of the worst forms of invective and ad hominem arguments that we have ever experienced. It has been ugly and it was an embarrasment in front of the rest of the world. And to use a somewhat trite phrase, it has trickled down to the common discourse. I have seen some incredibly nasty and uncalled-for comments on Facebook. The tenor of the discussions (I use the term loosely) has been poisonous. Friendships have ended and others have been severely damaged. Family members are no longer speaking to each other and holiday plans have changed as a result.

I have always considered myself a tolerant person. I try to keep an open mind. My family and friends are an eclectic group whose political views run the gamut from right to left and everywhere in between. In the vast majority of cases, I believe that even those whose ideas are completely different than mine have the best interests of our society at heart. I can have a discussion with someone I disagree with while remaining civil and without the need to convince them that my ideas are correct. I can accept that other viewpoints than my own can also be valid. I was about to write "equally valid" and I had to stop myself. There is the rub. Not all points of view are equally valid.

This election has brought out some very regressive ideas.  Racism, sexism, anti-Semitism, homophobia and other forms of bigotry have reared their ugly heads. The Trump campaign did not cause these feelings, but its rhetoric did give at least tacit permission for their expression. In some ways we should be grateful. It has brought all of this hate out in the open. Many people thought that our society had moved past these "isms," that we had become more advanced and enlightened. Unfortunately this is not so and if that is the case it is best that we are aware of it.

This brings me back to my original thought. I now have to revise my opinion of the statement on that church marquee. I believe in tolerance. I believe in respecting other people's beliefs and ideas even when they differ from my own. But I recognize that there must be a limit to tolerance. Some ideas cannot and should not be tolerated. Not only must they not be tolerated, we must take action to prevent them from taking root and controlling the policies and actions of the incoming administration. You and I may disagree as to what that action should be, but let us not sit idly by under the rubric of tolerance and let our country be warped by those who espouse these ideas.

So for my personal credo I modify the above statement as follows:

"Unlimited, unconditional tolerance is peaceful co-existence with evil."

I Am Still Me

Good Morning, Dear Friends. I kept my posts non-political all day yesterday and I think it was good for all of us. But I feel compelled this morning to respond to something that I have seen over and over in the last couple of days. I will quote from a FB meme that I keep seeing. "Its not just about Trump for me. What scares me is knowing that I live in a country where the majority is OK with racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia and sexual assault." Horsehockey!!!  Let me be a one-woman truth squad and clear up a few things.

1. Yes, it appears that Hillary did win the popular vote, But according to the most recent vote totals (and these are subject to change) she only received 202,340 more votes out of a total of 119,425,696 votes cast. If you do the math the vote comes out Clinton 50.08% Trump 49.92 % for a difference of .16%. This is neither a vindication that "most people in the country support Hillary and her ideas" or that "Donald Trump has won a sweeping mandate." It shows again that we are a country that is deeply divided politically. There is no overwhelming majority for anything.

2. Now to the idea that all Trump voters believe in the things stated above. The vote for any party's presidential candidate is not monolithic. Not everyone who voted for Hillary were big fans. Some are true believers and really wanted to see her as President. Some were reluctant Benie supporters who were convinced that it was important to put aside the primary and vote for the party's candidate. And some simply saw her as the lesser of two evils. Well, the vote for Trump was equally complex. Again some are true believers. Many supported one of the other 16 Republican contenders and voted (as one Dear Friend put it) for the platform not the person. And again some saw him as the lesser of two evils. So to say that all Hillary or Trump voters believe any one thing is an absurd simplification.

3. In regards to the specific concerns about racism, sexism, etc. the answer is also complicated. Undoubtedly, some of the people who voted for Trump exhibit some appalling prejudices and attitudes. There are racists, chauvinists, white supremacists, homophobes and Anti-Semites among his supporters and I find them (yes, I am using the word) deplorable. But thay are by no means a majority. I am a Republican. Before you ask, whom I voted for is my business and is not relevant to this discussion. The other Republicans that I interact with on a regular basis are generally public-spirited, G-d-fearing individuals who truly believe that what they are doing is in the best interest of our country. We don't agree on everything. We never will. But (just using my own specific demographics) I feel no animosity toward myself either as a woman or a Jew. So stop demonizing those who voted differently than you did.

4. This election has brought to the surface many feelings that  have been submerged. They didn't just show up because Trump ran for President. He didn't cause them. Not all of them are pretty. But they are real and need to be dealt with. But let's not get carried away. This is not the end of our Republic. There will be no public lynchings. Sexual assault will not become acceptable. I understand there is fear out there. But let's keep in in perspective.

5. The best idea I've seen in the last couple of days is the "Shabbat Dinner" approach. The story in a nutshell is that a young white supremacist was moved to change his views by being invited to join a group of Orthodox Jewish students for their Shabbat dinner group. They talked. They got to know each other. They got to see each other as individuals, not ideologies. So reach out. Talk. Debate. Another Dear Friend posted yesterday asking her FB friends to explain why they voted for Trump so she could try to understand. For those of you who are local, I would be proud to host a dinner to bring together some Trump and Hillary voters  to begin the dialogue.
Well, there it is. I hope you read it all the way through and I hope it has a positive effect. I am just one person. But that is the point. I am not part of some monolithic "other." I am an individual with a wide range of beliefs and attitudes. I don't fit in any one box. And I don't think any of you, my Dear Friends, do either.

Don't Let it be Forgot...

Fifty-two years. How things have changed. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy is the first national event I remember. Before that, my awareness of the world was pretty much confined to my little corner of it. I grew up with a poster very much like this of JFK and his famous quote ("Ask not...") hanging on my wall long before it was joined by David Cassidy and Donny Osmond. 

Over the years we have gotten to see the man behind the winning smile and it wasn't always pretty; the Bay of Pigs, the Mafia, Marilyn Monroe, sex in the White House swimming pool, drug addiction and secrets about his health have all tarnished his image. But we lost more that one flawed human being that sunny morning in Dallas. We lost hope, optimism and courage. The following years are a litany of scandals and setbacks: Vietnam, the assassinations of Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr., Watergate, "Malaise," Iran-Contra, Monica Lewinsky and the definition of "is," 9-11, Iraq, the economic meltdown, deep divisions in our society over religion, race and gender and the specter of terrorism coming to the a school, movie theater or national landmark near you at any time. Sure there were victories. And there have been other leaders who tried their best to lift our spirits. But the truth is that we are a sadder, more cynical and less impressive nation than we were back then.

Now, of course, there is no way to rewind the film, go back to that day, stop the bullets and watch the next act. What's done is done and there is no way to know what would or would not have happened if JFK had survived. The "What ifs" of history are fascinating, but they are simply intellectual masturbation. They do not inform our reality.

So what to take away from this anniversary? Still to this day, despite all the revelations and reality checks, the fond memory of the Kennedy years remains the image of Camelot. It is a vision of our better selves. What we wish we could be. That our leaders did the right things for the right reasons. That idealism is better than cynicism. That it is OK to wave your banner loudly and proudly and declare your vision to the world.

As a child, I loved the movie Camelot and began a life-long crush on Richard Harris. (Probably many more of your remember him as Professor Dumbledore.) I would sing along to the record, especially the title song, pretending to be Guinevere. Just this week I mentioned it when discussing the change in our weather, saying that I wouldn't mind if it rained "after sundown and by nine p.m. the moonlight must appear." Idealism and cynicism are my yin and yang. I struggle to find a place between them that seems logical, but it often slips through my fingers. On this sad day, I choose optimism. As long as we can remember JFK's positive message, there is still hope. This last scene from Camelot always makes me cry. It is a fitting tribute to our fallen President as well.