Soul Food (Part 1)

SOUL FOOD (Part 1)


"Food, like a loving touch or a glimpse of divine power, has that ability to comfort."

As I was preparing a pot of home-made chicken soup for my ill husband, I got to thinking about the role food plays in our lives. Food serves many functions. At the most basic level, it provides the fuel our bodies need to function. On another level, there is the physical, often sensual, pleasure of eating. The tastes, textures and smells of food can delight the senses. Food also gives us a sense of connection to those around us and to our cultural roots. And lastly, food has a deep emotional component. From "comfort food" to the satisfaction of providing a meal to those you love, cooking and eating is always a subjective, personal experience.

But I believe we take food for granted. When we sit down at the dinner table, order something through the drive-through window or pick up items at the grocery store, we do it without really considering what it took to satisy our needs. When you enjoy a salad, sink your teeth into a hamburger or munch on a bag of potato chips do you ever stop and think about the farmer who created the raw ingredients, the laborers who picked the crops or cared for the animals, the workers in the factory, the transportation workers who moved it or the grocery store employees, restaurant staff or family member who provided it to you?

Also, how often do you eat mindlessly? How often do you notice that half the food on your plate is gone and you don't even remember eating it?  In an exercize on mindfulness I was instructed to completely chew the bite I had in my mouth before taking another. I was amazed by what an act of will it was. Without even noticing it, I was in the habit of putting another bite of food in my mouth before the previous one was finished. Most people do the same thing.

Besides sexual behavior, cooking and eating are probably the subject most often regulated by religion. There are rules for what you can eat, when you can eat it, how you are supposed to prepare it, etc.. Why is this? I believe it is because of the important role food plays in our lives. It is easy to just mechanically put food in your mouth, chew and swallow without really thinking about it. Creating rules and rituals around food makes us stop and think.

So how can we get more joy out of our food? Here are a few suggestions: 1) Try the mindfulness exercize. Not only will you eat more slowly which helps you eat less, but you will actually taste the food you're eating. 2) Don't eat while doing something else like reading, watching television, going online, etc.. When you can, make your meal the focus of your attention. 3) Share the eating experience with others. Have family dinner time. The communal aspect of sharing a meal holds great social and emotional value. 4) If it fits with your view of religion, say a blessing before you eat. Thanking G-d for his bounty reminds us to be grateful for what we have.

And above all, enjoy!

Moving Forward

Moving Forward

As I stated on a recent Facebook post, the beginning of a new year is a time for both reflection on the past and looking forward to the future. This holds true in many aspects of our lives. However focusing on the past too much can be a barrier to moving forward. I believe that we should look to the past to derive those lessons that will help us improve our lives. We can also add those special events of the past year to our store of memories. But then it is time to move on.

Letting go of the past is composed of many factors. One of the most important is forgiveness. Before we can forgive anyone else, we must be able to forgive ourselves. We all make mistakes. We all miss the mark. But at some point we must acknowledge our own humanity, which includes fallibility and weakness, and go forward. It is hubris and a lack of humility to expect perfection. In fact, the reach for perfection (which I believe is unattainable)  can actually be detrimental to our peace of mind and ability to succeed. One of my favorite sayings is, "The perfect is the enemy of the good."

We must also be willing to forgive others. Just as we recognize our own tendency to make mistakes, we must acknowledge the same tendency in others. Those around us also fall short of perfection. They cause us pain both intentionally and unintentionally.They let us down. They anger and disappoint us. Waiting for an acknowledgement of these acts and an apology for them only gives them power over us. Ruminating on how we have been wronged by others and holding grudges only takes up room in our heads that we need for other more positive things.

Forgiving is not the same thing as forgetting. Forgiving means letting go of expectations and resentments. Dropping the emotional baggage. Letting go of the pain and hurt feelings. Remembering is a more intellectual exercise. It mean  looking at these events and people with an eye toward improving the situation if you can and walking away if you cannot. It gives you perspective.

Several events over the past few days have caused me to focus on this issue with particular intensity. Circumstances have combined to remind me of the limits that exist in affecting the behavior of the people around me. They have given me a fresh lesson in acceptance..

So I am amending my New Year's resolutions. I originally said that my resolution was simply to be a better me in 2013. To do what I can to be a better person. But I am adding something else for my own well-being. I will stop looking over my shoulder to dwell on what is behind me. I will put down the emotional baggage. I will recognize that the only person I have control over is myself.

I will move forward.